Outcomes for your creative practice from the residency?
- Clarity of this particular project and steps to making the final product
- Confidence in taking the project to its final outcome
- Confidence in myself and my abilities as a multi-form artist
- The ability to see and project the needs and requirements for the execution of this project
- How and where it my fit into the arts scene in Melbourne and globally
- An awareness of theoretical and critical investigations for future research and creation
- A better understanding of my own patterns and style of learning and creating
- A deeper connection to my current relationship to my dancing/moving body
- The ability to see how the varied forms of art weave and feed into one another
- Greater time management skills
- Self-respect and patience for the process of creation
- Listening with flexibility, while practicing focus and dedication
- Excitement for engaging in a wider community, being apart of a larger conversation of Arts at DAC
What could I improve upon?
- Actually doing the homework
- Accompanying a half day outside of the residency to read and research
- More conversation with other people during this time
- Find a studio to rehearse in once a week
- Find a new residency to keep exploring the work
- Devote a 6 hour chunk a week to the research, theory and writing
- listen to the music and the song
- Find an exhibiting space for 2019
- Begin conversation with industry and Melbourne Arts
Beginnings of repeated application to dance and interior spaces.
27th June 2018, 9:30- 5pm
Last Day at the Darebin Arts Centre. Between two spaces.
Had the video with the song anew playing on loop through my laptop while I mimicked the shapes and general movements. Sculpting the container. Seeing how this big picture learning technique will assist. I have looped the video about 6 or 7 times, and each time I learn something new or caught something missing. Sometimes I lose the thing I caught in the previous loop. The Tat Thai Ta Ha hands are very confusing and hard to follow through this container learning for me. I see my attention go from blind copying – something I used to do in Dance class with the mirror all the time – to bringing my attention into my body and feeling an impression of the information into my memory through awareness.
“Oh, ok, that starts on this side of the body…it makes sense that I would be moving to this position next when I remember the forward movement.”
There is a lot of information being held in this practice. I thought to myself, it looks like I am doing it, but if the video were to be gone I would have nothing inside me.
Mimicry with source present is easy, mimicry absent from the source is true embodiment.
There really is a feeling of writing code, imprinting information.
Done. 10 mins to evacuation. Wet face feelings of gratitude took hold. Its been a while since I have felt that deeply. I truly am so grateful to have the time, space and allowance to express my being and intellect – what an honour, what a time.
I made another Ushi video in the bog Jacaranda room, my hair is not very good. But it was good to endure it once again. I think it will be stronger on stage with lights, a main spot light.
I also played some music and danced to it – freeform. Where do I put all this? Do I need to put all this? Just dooooo it.
I ended the day with a few more container loops of the reverse Alarripu. It is one detailed piece of work I gotta get through.
Next Steps. Another residency . Another room hire. I need to rehearse once or twice a week for 2 hours a pop.
And a massive thank you the staff and architecture of the Darebin Arts and Entertainment Centre for encouraging artists to push the boundaries of their practice and ideas.
26th June 2018
10:30-5pm, 1 hour lunch visited Gertrude Contemporary
The aerodynamics of the day! A swift one, with a celebratory landing. I completed a recording of the full backward Sollukattu! Now I have to add it to the video to make a final audio visual piece of the dance anew to practice from.
Over and over and over again. I can now pick up the song if I am lost in the video. I know where to expect what beat, bol and kala. The daunting part is now to embody the movement and the song without moving my mouth. To internalise all of this. To mirror and mimic my body with the flow of the song.
I realised such creativity through the making of the song, along with anticipation and patience.
Tomorrow I will overlay the song to the visuals and begin to mimic loosely as I watch the video. I hope this loose mimicry will give my body some shapes and basic geometry to fall into, so I can build upon those physical lyricisms.
This conference space was calling me all day to play.
20th June. 2018 10:30-5pm
Emotions enmeshed in my life.
Today the residues of Hannah Gadsby Nannet show from the night before – Best stand up comedic experience. Raw, truthful, heart clenching, teeth tightening, funny and painful. An undeniably intelligent, courageous, witty individual, saying it how it is fro herself and for “her people”, as she humours.
Today occurred twice. The second time with lunch from home and a coffee to commence at 1pm. Third day into a Keto diet, so my mind was wavering, as were my emotions.
I had found flow through repetition. The accumulation of previous repetitive work has seen to pay off. That’s that power of over and over and over again. again.
I managed to record the entire sollukattu, with mistakes. I wasn’t expecting it to be perfect, but I’m happy to see the progress and know the framework and where things fall in the dance. Initially, reciting was a hard transition from third speed to second then to first, as it would have usually been the opposite.
I have been alternating through mirrored and unmirrored orientations of the video. I started to us the mirrored version for the up and down thri-pataka sequence because the bends and the turn of the hands were very difficult to flip in my head. I stayed with the mirrored video from then on, however, when learning this final song today I used the unmirrored video, thinking that I wanted to learn unmirrored. Now I am regretting this decision, as it will take extra time to unlearn the orientation connected to the sound today.
15th June 2018, 10:30-5pm
Head cold-slow move.
Had a coffee and talked a bunch to the camera about the books and ideas I have caught.
Stretched and did Alarippu.
The day was spent watching the reverse clip and writing out the steps. Most of it was familiarising myself with the steps. The mirroring of the movements isn’t helping so much, I’m still flipping the image in my head. Very confusing.
I can’t believe I spent the entire day writing this out from the video, and I still haven’t finished it. But the end of the day, my brain was exhausted and couldn’t focus. Im happy I came in and worked despite my low energy.
Focused on the task today. I attempted a mediation, by mind traveling to various parts of my life that I obsess about. I would love some new pathways, I know that will take a lot of work. I do and should meditate everyday if i want to see this change.
June 13th 2018, 12pm-5pm
A day of minus health and energy. But I showed, and the outcome was accumulative.
I began with stretches and Alarippu.
I watch the backward Alarippu several times to see what ideas and thoughts the repeated information would lead me to. My minds phased in and out of attention and idealisation. A few ideas came to mind – I could perform this live with a projector of the forward Alarippu maybe reflected in front of me on the floor like the reflection on a lake. Or using a mirror. It would be great to get some sort of interactivity with the viewers, i.e., they can use their phones to capture and alter the visual they see.
Darren Sylvester would be a great person to research. In his piece You should let go of a dying relationship 2006, he reenacts a David Bowie and Kate Bush video clip that play side by side. Further investigations have lead me to a book Called Video Void: Australian Video Art. The cover has a Daniel Crooks image on it, and has contribution by Prof Anne Marsh.
A video idea: I could overlay the forward dance with the reverse dance and have them play at the same time, this making a point in the middle of the dance where they meet at a point of the same gesture. I could screen grab this and have that as a title for an image that doesn’t seem any special except that it references this idea and image. This several reminds me of the waterfall video I have made with the two bodies – one forwards and the other backwards, and they become one in the middle point of the video.
Focused on writing the reverse sollu kattu. I realised that I have to freedom to create any combination of bols, as long as they fit the timing of the steps. This gave me a sense of ownership and creativity to the process. So, midway through the residency I have realised that making a new song entirely seems like the best place to start. It will allow me to create a flow of the steps and find continuity when performing.
The forever-moving-goal for this residency now seems to be to have completed the backwards song as audio and as an audio-visual piece ready for intense listening, reciting and eventually practice.
Terms – backward, reverse, mirrored, flipped – they need to be defined.
June 12th 2018, 2pm-5pm
Middle day of residency.
A short sleepy plane body day. Came in to show up, to take note of what will be tomorrow and take inventory of process.
I took off where I left last week – working through the sollu kattu of the backwards steps. Its hard to find the most accurate boys because the emphasis of the beat is unusual. I attempted this, but I need my head not be in the clouds to really focus on every little step.
Most steps have morphed into a jump with this reversal. I frequent Thai Hut Thai He.
So far I have:
- Trialled the reverse teermanum without video, then with video
- Experimented with video and dance – Ushi
- Played around with the computer, illustrating it as the Guru of Reverse
- Conversational/casual/funny with the video camera
- Some new ideas fro video body relationships
- Some mime/spatial trials
- Made a video diary every day
- Started to learn the dance in reverse
- Tried different ways of reciting the bol
- Realised that the sollu kattu is important for memory – writing it out
- Meditated and did pilates every day within residency
- Wrote in the blog every day
- Visualised the end product of the project clearly
- Realised that this is going to take a lot longer than I thought
Im looking forward to meeting with Priya Srinivasan to make some new investigative spaces.
Write out the full reverse sollu kattu for the dance. Then record my voice saying it to the dance. Overlay the new bols. Listen, watch and learn the new beats over and over again. Slow down the video with the bols to go back to early stages of learning – this dance moves very fast, and the speed needs to accelerate slowly over the course of learning.
On another note.
As I was drifting off to sleep in the warm breeze of Vietnam, I realised that my investigation and creation of the simultaneous occurrences of binaries (the suspension of knowing the source of an image, its ambiguity) has been a ecological investigation (through the thinking of Timothy Morton) since way back to polaroid making days. The imagery I make is already speaking to these ideas, I just now have the words to articulate them further.
6th June 2018, 9:30 – 5pm, 1 hour break
This day, a day of loose concentration. Rampant thoughts of travel, running, running, running. I just wanted to go running today in the rare occurrence of sun in June.
Coming back into this after a week without properly practicing and following the list I had set out for progression didn’t take place. Old habits, with a heavier work load.
The steps that I thought would be easier to learn are hardest. The kathaka dithdith thay backwards was so confusing for my mind. Right left, hand onto or down all getting mixed when having to reveres the reflection of the video. So I exported the video with a horizontal flip, so as to mirror the slight bends and hands with ease. This, however, was an undoing of flipping the actions in my head. it took a while to get used to.
ULTIMATELY, its a time keeping problem with the sollukattu. I put the tala to the video thinking that would help, but that also was confusing. Things I had learnt in the past, become messy and were forgotten. I have entered a warp zone. All is swirling and broken. Im sure this is not the worst of it.
I need to sit with the video. Its important to study the video and create a new full flowing jaathi to memories. This is why I can’t flow, because my language is stifled in reverse. I began to do this today and it helped slightly.
I just need to remember that its going to take some time, obviously longer than I had thought.
Going back to learning from scratch, I need to slow down the video and take it easy. My brain was wide today, wide and gallivanting. I mediated but that seemed short lived.
The sun has come to an end so soon, Im not even sure if I even began a day.
30 May 2018
9-5pm, 1 hour break
An action plan has been formulated. No need to play and experiment as much. I see the tasks necessary for the outcome. It is harder learning the reverse steps than I thought so I need to devote more time to actually dancing. Today I made some progress, like starting a plait I can see the braid now, as I have some of the reverse dance within me. Ta Hatta Jam Thari Ta proved to be very challenging with its light elvish feet hippy hopping about. As predicted the sollu kattu is the challenge. Im seeing the dance as something else now. Keeping time correctly is the key.
Today I attempted so mime work and cutting and moving through the spaces. I tried to do some simple actions backwards, and made a spiral backwards and unfolded it forwards.
From now onward for faster more precise progress:
- I will watch the reverse video at least twice a day
- I will practice the the steps everyday
- I will have the video ready for the residency day
- Meditation will happen at home
- Blogging will be in the last half hour of the day
Seven days since I have had a day in the studio. The week peppered with reading of Sweating Saris and Somatic Ontology. Gravity. Pre-reflection and Reflection states or learning and experience. Reflection being the state of objective subjective perception, and the pre-reflective space as one of before language, the primal space, the child’s space. “Self is a bodily psychospacial reality” and “intentionality is a psychospacial orientation” pg 78. And Priya’s Archival Body – that the muscle memory is storage place of dead bodies, past bodies – brought to life by the live body. This has links to my liquid body. Agitation. Activation. Archival. Articulation. Actionerring.
I feel a little behind on the academic/intellectual side of this currently, but I know it will catch up after the physical work is done. My intellectual process is stronger in retrospect, albeit still humming away in the back of my liquid body.